Final Post

Here's what I wrote at the beginning of the year, contrasted with what I learned/think now. I'll keep the original post in white and make my comments yellow.

Who am I? This question is always so hard to answer. If the question was "what am I?" I'd have this down. I'm a living, breathing organism. A human, of the female variety (now, after taking this class, I understand so much more what it means to be a female and how society has shaped my views on gender.). When it comes down to who I am, though, I'm usually stumped. I guess the best answer is that I'm still figuring out who I am. I'm still searching for my place within the world (interesting, at least to me, to look back on our conversation about teens struggling to find a place in the world between childhood and adulthood. I felt - and still feel - that I don't belong with adults or kids... So where is my place in the world?).

But, of course, I can provide some facts about my interests and activities. I'm not sure that they define who I am, but they do determine who I spend time with, which I suppose shapes my identity in turn. I love theater. I audition as much as possible, and many of my friends are also involved in theater. I also enjoy writing. I have written several plays, one of which was performed as part of the 2008 one acts (and one was part of the one acts this year. I feel like writing helps me feel important in a way - I have a place in society, and I can do something I'm good at. In addition, my first play was about my philosophical beliefs about love and life and death, whereas my second one was about Disney princesses, archetypes, true love, and social change. My plays are actually powerful, which helps me feel like I'm making an impact). I also write poetry and the occasional short story. Currently, I compete on the Speech and Drama team. I've competed in the categories of Humorous Interpretation and Impromptu Speaking. But the thing is, I don't really think that my activities determine who I am. I think that I choose my activities because of who I am. I choose theater because I love the people, I love performing, and I love affecting the audience. I choose Speech and Drama, again, because of the people, and also because I'm very competitive. And I write because writing helps me understand the world better and helps me express myself (which is definitely really important for teens in particular). But why am I this way? What makes me a performer, and introverted (am I? I don't know...), and competitive? I think that's a part of why I want to learn about sociology: to better understand myself (I don't know if I understand myself better, but I think as a result of this course, I'm more conscious of the social forces that cause me to feel this sense of disconnect in my life).

The biggest influences in my life are probably my parents. They've put pressure on me since I was a kid. They want me to succeed, both as a professional one day and also as a person. They were also raised very differently than any of my friends' parents (cultural differences). My mother is South African, and my dad is Australian. My father was raised as an Orthodox Jew, and my mother grew up with apartheid. My father came to America to get his master's degree in architecture, and my mother came to find opportunities, to escape apartheid, and to be closer to her family, which moved years before her. Their cultures are very different than American culture. Their parents were very strict, and they both grew up surrounded by religion. Both attended Jewish schools until college. They have a very different perspective of what hard work is, because they were held to very high standards as teenagers (generational and cultural gap). They have tried to raise me by their standards. Sometimes I hate it, and sometimes I'm grateful. I hate that they want religion to be such a major part of my life, because I feel like I've never had a choice about being Jewish. I was never given a chance to determine my own beliefs. Yet I also think they've made me a better person and taught me the value of hard work and compassion.

My primary goal in life is to leave a mark. I want to be a positive presence in the lives of others, through my writing, performance, and kindness. I've been so affected by books I've read or plays and movies that I've seen, and I want to affect other people. I also want to be a good person and overcome the negative impulses that I think everyone has: impulses to hurt other people emotionally, for example. I also want to become a person conscious of the world around me. I don't want to be oblivious. I want to engage. (The community service experience really helped me with this. I left a positive mark on the world, and I took an active part in the world around me. I loved volunteering.)

Race in Crash

In the movie Crash, there is a Persian family that is discriminated against and robbed because they look "Arab." But as the father said, after being refused service in a gun store, "Since when is Persian Arab?" The scene really demonstrated that race isn't biological - if it was, people would be able to tell nationality by skin tone. Instead, race is socially constructed. The Persian family is mistreated because of the color of their skin, which is similar to the skin tone of someone who is an Arab. Our society teaches us to be wary of Arabic people. We are bombarded with images of Arab terrorists, and the news teaches us to ignore the many peaceful Arabs, which is why the man in the gun store says something along the lines of, "I'm not gonna sell a gun to an Arab terrorist."

In my personal experience, my father can be kind of racist in the same way. We're Jewish, and he is extremely pro-Israel. I'm all for Israel as well, but I think that Israelis and Palestinians must find a way to cooperate with one another. My father, on the other hand, refuses to accept that some of the Palestinians are willing to work for peace. He thinks they all have ulterior motives. He believes that all Muslims, not just extremists, are anti-Israel. But that's not true. I have a friend from Afghanistan who is Muslim, and my dad doesn't think I should be friends with her. She's honestly the sweetest person I've ever met, and I know that she doesn't wish Israel or the Jews harm at all. But my dad sees her skin, and he knows her religion, and he associates her with militant Palestinians. It's completely ridiculous. Even though her skin is a similar color, she's far from an extremist. And my dad is determined to change my mind and create a lasting impression on the mind of my sister. She recently did a presentation about the Israeli-Palestinian conflict for her World History class, and my dad read through her presentation and told her to change some things. I was in the next room over, and I overheard him say, "You know why the Palestinians do what they do? Because Islam is a religion that teaches that suicide is honorable." It angers me that he's trying to brainwash my sister with something that isn't remotely true. My father groups people based on their religion and skin tone, without thinking about how not all Arab Muslims are the same.

Another example was something I blogged about at the beginning of the semester, about my mom's experience with race in South Africa. I'll recap the story: she rode a train with a "tan" girl who was going to visit her family. When the girl got off the train, she joined a black family. She was their daughter, and in the eyes of apartheid, she was black. But because of her pale skin, she was able to ride in the white cars of the segregated trains. Race is so subjective - there's no way to "tell." The idea of race is socially constructed, and we try to draw lines between people of different pigmentation when biologically, race doesn't even exist.

Race

Right now, I'm reading a book that I just can't put down (except to write my sociology blog!). It's called Middlesex, and it won the Pulitzer prize a few years ago. Anyway, as I was reading, one part reminded me of what we discussed in sociology a few days ago. One of the characters, Desdemona, needed to find a job. She's Greek Orthodox, and back in Greece, she worked with silk worms. She finds an advertisement for silk workers, and so she goes to try to get the job. The job is in a poor black neighborhood in Detroit, which terrifies her. The job itself is at a mosque, and they only hire black, Muslim workers. Even though Desdemona is Greek, they decide she's biracial: white and black, because they really want to hire her. It just goes to show how subjective race is.

Another thing, which I talked about in an earlier blog, is how race was perceived in South Africa, where my mom grew up. (Here's the blog: http://theaterbex.blogspot.com/2010/02/race-and-south-africa.html) One thing that I didn't mention in the blog was that in South Africa, during apartheid, you could petition to have your race changed. People were black, or colored, or Malaysian, or white, or whatever, but if they could get permission from the government, their race would be legally changed, and the way society treated them would change as well.

In this blog, I also wanted to talk about my recent experience with explicit racism. I'm Jewish, and I was walking down the halls of Stevenson one day, and I heard two guys having a conversation. One of them said, "I wish all the fucking Jews would go away. They make the school look bad." The other one agreed. Hearing the conversation upset me. Every ethnic and racial group has been through its own share of hardships. For Jews, that hardship has persisted for centuries. Back in Egypt, we were enslaved; later, our Temple was destroyed (twice), and we were banished from our homeland; for years, we endured discrimination in Europe and in the New World; and recently, Hitler (and all those who went along with him) killed six million Jews. Even though I have lived in America my whole life, and no one has ever directly threatened me, I'm still very scared of anti-Semitism. In Constitutional Law last year, we learned about the court case National Socialist Party of America v. Village of Skokie, which ruled that it was unconstitutional to prohibit Neo-Nazis from marching through Skokie, an area that is mostly Jewish. I'm all for freedom of speech, but if I had been there, I would be terrified out of my mind. It seems to me that freedom of speech is important, as long as it doesn't cause ethnic and racial groups to feel persecuted and terrified.

In the Heights - And Its Connection to Social Class

My current favorite musical is In the Heights, by Lin Manuel Miranda. It tells the stories of people living in Washington Heights, in a really crummy "barrio" that revolves around a bodega, a hair salon, and a taxi cab company. There are a few characters I want to focus on.


Nina's story:
Nina is the daughter of Mr. Rosario, who owns the taxi cab company, which he started as a young adult with his wife. Nina, a high achiever, was one of the only people in her high school class to graduate. She got into Stanford and was the pride of her neighborhood... But since her father didn't earn much and her scholarship only covered part of her tuition, she had to take on two jobs to cover the difference. She was so busy working that her grades dropped and she lost the scholarship. Her father resolves to do whatever he can to pay for her education, so he sells his business at a fraction of what it's worth, and all his taxi drivers lose their jobs.


Benny's story:
Benny is one of Mr. Rosario's drivers, and the only black guy in the neighborhood, which is entirely Latino. Even though he's friends with a lot of the younger people in the neighborhood, the upper generation has trouble accepting him. When he starts dating Nina, Mr. Rosario refuses to accept their relationship because Benny isn't Latino. Race is a big barrier in their relationship.



Abuela Claudia:
Abuela sings this song, "Pacience y fe," in which she talks about her experience coming to America as a young girl. Her mother thought they were coming to a land of opportunities, but they end up having to work as maids, where the rich white population treats them like scum.
"So we cleaned some homes, polishing with pride, scrubbing the whole of the Upper East Side. The days into weeks, the weeks into years, and here I stay."
Abuela came to America to find opportunities, but instead, she got stuck in poverty. Out of necessity, she spent her whole life working for the upper classes, with no room to move into a different class.


Mr. Rosario's story:
His father (and his father's father) was a farmer, and he was the first person in his family to try to do something different.
"But I told him, 'Papi, I'm sorry, I'm going further. I'm getting on a plane, and I'm gonna change the world someday.' And he slapped my face."
In this song, Mr. Rosario makes his decision to do whatever it takes to send Nina back to college, because he was discouraged from pursuing his dreams. (Like the girl in the video, who "was getting above her raisin.')


So basically, this whole neighborhood is made up of minorities who are trapped in their class. The main action of the play (there are so many stories, but I guess this is one of the most major story lines) is that someone in the neighborhood won the lottery, which is $96,000. Most upper middle class people wouldn't think of that as a lot of money, but to the people of the barrio, it's huge.


Some lyrics from the song "96,000":


"If I won the lotto tomorrow, I wouldn't bother goin' on no spendin' spree. I'd pick a business school and pay the entrance fee. Then maybe if you're lucky, you'll stay friends with me. I'll be a business man, richer than Nina's daddy. Donald Trump and I on the links and he's my caddy. My money's makin' money, I'm goin' from po' to moto! Keep the bling, I want the brass ring like Frodo!"
In this part of the song, Benny raps about what he would do with the money: go to business school and become new wealth. He wants to escape his class. Furthermore, he doesn't want bling, which is showy, non-classy wealth; he wants a brass ring, which is subtler and more classy.

Usnavi (the main character - who I didn't mention before, but whatever) replies:
"Oh no, there goes Mr. Braggadocio. Next thing you know, you're lyin' like Pinnochio."
He instinctively distrusts all people at the top, thinking that they didn't get where they are honestly.

Benny says later in the song,
"For real though, imagine how it would feel goin' real slow down the highway of life with no regrets and no breaking your neck for respect or a paycheck."
People at the bottom of the class system have so much trouble earning money or getting to relax or being respected. They can work twice as hard but get paid next to nothing because they're being paid minimum wage.

Sonny, the political activist, says he would get computers for the neighborhood. He says,
"Your kids are leaving without a good edumacation. Change the station, teach them about gentrification. The rent is escalating, the rich are penetrating..."
Sonny notices that the problem is in the school system. All the wealthy kids are being taught how to be rich and how to succeed, but since the barrio school has no money and because it doesn't teach the kids that they're worth something, practically no one graduates, and then they all get stuck in a rut.

After the show, I got to go to a talkback with some of the actors. A lot of them commented on how the stories in the show reflect the stories of their families. They all said how amazing it was to be part of a show that reflected their experiences as minorities in the lower class. I love the show, and it's uplifting, but ultimately, I had to wonder: why aren't we doing more to change this? We need another war on poverty (speaking of which, time to study for my APUSH test tomorrow!).

- Bex

The link to the recording studio video of "96,000": http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DSTjRUMfOKI Give it a listen. The song is really good.

Rules

Last year, I took Constitutional Law, and we discussed the court case Regents of the University of California v. Bakke. Bakke, a white male, was rejected twice from med school at the University of California, even though minority applicants who were less qualified than him were admitted. The Supreme Court precedent was that racial quotas are inadmissible, but affirmative action is A-OK. When we first studied the case, I sympathized with Bakke. It always sucks to see others get something that you think you're more qualified for, and he definitely was more qualified in terms of test scores. But ultimately, I decided I agreed with the Supreme Court precedent. The way society is set up keeps the poor poor and makes the rich richer, and in order to create a society where people are truly equal, we have to try to narrow that gap.

In Con Law, I got a lot of criticism for my views on socialism and communism. I said that even though they don't work in practice, as ideas, they're pretty great. When I took Con Law, the presidential election was going on, and many people in the class said that they were worried that Obama would be too socialist. I disagreed. I didn't think any of his plans were too radical (I still hold that opinion) and that perhaps they would help. Remember, FDR's New Deal helped many people through the Depression, and while his programs were not exactly socialist, they were a great example of big government helping the people.

The recession has hit many people hard. But even though my parents aren't millionaires, we've still been living fairly comfortably. My parents even commissioned an addition to our house recently. Sure, they'd always dreamed of a sun room and a larger kitchen, but I was appalled that we were expanding (and taking out loans to do so - in this economy!) when so many others were cutting back. I wish my parents had taken into consideration all the people who find themselves homeless, all the people who are incapable of escaping poverty, and all that we could have been doing to help the dreams of others. Sure, I like the sun room. The kitchen is nice. But when I think about the unemployment rate and the numbers of homeless people, I wish we hadn't had the addition in the first place. People can condemn socialism all they want, but the rich are only going to get richer and the poor will only get poorer unless we redistribute some wealth. Humans are so obsessed with money, which I think is ridiculous. How can we be happy living comfortably in the suburbs when people are struggling to eat in the slums? We need to care more about others.

Positive Deviance

Last Saturday night, my sister and I went out for dinner and planned to go to Showcase afterwards. However, we thought the show started at 7:30, when it had actually started at 7:00. So instead, we went to Brunswick Zones, up near the mall. We played a couple games, and then my sister wanted to go play the kiddie arcade games. They're kind of like Chuckie Cheese games, where you buy tokens and play for tickets, which you can then use to get prizes. I spent two dollars on tokens, just because I'm a sucker for kiddie games. Anyway, I ended up getting the jackpot on a game I played, which was 300 tickets. My sister was really jealous, because she had spent at least five dollars, so I gave some of my tickets to her and then asked the guy at the counter (they had to manually count the tickets, because the machine wasn't working) to just add the rest onto the total of the next little kid to play at the arcade. He was kind of surprised that I wanted to do that, because I guess most people don't say things like that, but he agreed. As my sister and I drove home, I imagined a little kid getting a bunch of extra tickets, and hopefully being happy. It made me happy to think about it.

What people say is true: when you do things for others, you feel good about yourself. Most of the time, society teaches us to keep to ourselves. When other people say things that are offensive, we're supposed to keep quiet. It's considered weird to speak up. Most people ignore homeless people begging on the streets. When people cry, most others ignore them. But if we tried to help other people more, I think the world would be a much better place. Helping others benefits them, but if you need a self-directed motive, helping others makes you feel really good about yourself.

Masculinity and Homophobia

When we talked in class about how masculinity is intrinsically tied to homophobia, I really connected it to my own life. Sure, I'm a girl, but so many times, guys have acted really homophobic around me, and now I understand that it's part of their need to assert their masculinity.

I'm an FMP, and there's a kid in my advisory who I'll call D. He's a scrawny kid with a delicate face. There's another kid who I'll call N. He dresses like a gangster, has received numerous in-school suspensions, and has no respect for authority, which includes his FMPs. N will bully D relentlessly, and when we ask him to stop, he just picks on D more because he thinks that D needs others to fight his own battles. Our faculty advisor has referred N to his dean many times, but N literally doesn't care at all about being punished. He got expelled from two middle schools and hasn't learned anything from the experience. Anyway, one day, N was making fun of D, coming up with nicknames for him, and he said, "D 'fag' [last name]." I was in shock that he would say that, but two of my co-FMPS (who are guys) LAUGHED about it! I wanted to say something, but N, though a freshman, is kind of scary. None of us really know how to deal with him because he so obviously doesn't care at all about any punishments we threaten him with. I really regret not speaking up, and it still bothers me that my two co-FMPs, who are supposed to respect others, LAUGHED. I've always thought I'm an assertive person, but maybe I am a socialized girl, completely docile.

Yesterday on the bus, two guys behind me were making fun of this guy who had flowers and was walking with his girlfriend (they were holding hands) to school. We got stuck at the tracks behind a freight train, and as we waited, the guy handed the girl the flowers and then kissed her. The guys behind me were like, "Dude, that guy is SO gay." Remembering what Sal said the other day about girls standing up to guys about their homophobia, I turned around and said, "Oh, yes, he's obviously gay for kissing that girl. He definitely likes guys." One of the guys replied, "No, we're not saying he's LITERALLY gay. He's just whipped." I told them, "Oh, so you don't think guys should give girls flowers? Okay, let's see you find dates to prom." That shut them up. I'm glad I said something, but I also wish I could have found a way to do so WITHOUT attacking their masculinity (saying that they're incapable of getting girls).

So I've been noticing masculinity and femininity a lot recently, and I think it's really interesting to see how we've all been socialized to act.

Over and out,
Bex