Money

After talking about Daniel Suelo, the man who lives in a cave, I started thinking about my own goals in life. Suelo abandoned money because he realized it made people unhealthy and unhappy, and upon thought, I think he's right. Money doesn't make me a happier person at all. I constantly fight with my mom over how much money I owe her and how much she owes me, between my allowance, my paychecks (which she cashes for me), and the money I borrow from her. And I love shopping and acquiring new STUFF. I mean, do I really need it? Does it really make me happy? Well... Probably not. I mean, I feel cute in new clothes, and I love to feel good about myself. But that also just shows how much importance I place on my appearance, which probably isn't so healthy either.

When I tell people I want to be an actress, they often assume it's because I want to be rich and famous. That's not what I want. I want to be known, but not famous. But that's not WHY I want to be an actress. See, people listen to entertainers. From the first moment I got onstage, I realized that the best way to get people to hear what you have to say is by entertaining them. When I act, the words of the playwright and the vision of the director speak through me. I'm a vessel for larger things. My greatest dream is to belong to a theater company like Steppenwolf, where the actors are often writers and directors as well. Because I'm happiest when I'm with others who share my goals. I'm happiest when I'm in the theater, because theaters are where real magic happens. Where actors become people with a need, and the audience becomes a part of that need. The theater is a place for sharing and for learning to empathize with others, and a place to see the world in a different way. And that's the environment I want to spend the rest of my life in.

Kind of a short blog post today... I'm leaving for France on Tuesday (!!!!), and I have tons of homework and packing to do. Au revoir!

Dependency

Morrie talks to Mitch about being dependent on others, and raises an important question: What's so bad about dependency? We're dependent as babies, and we're dependent when we become too old to function.

I think Americans are particularly afraid of dependency. Since the American Revolution, we have had an obsession with independence. I think we're so obsessed with independence because dependence makes us vulnerable. We have a huge national problem at the moment: we're dependent on other countries for oil, countries that threaten our national security. Our dependence has gotten us into a huge mess. On a micro level, dependence on other people often causes problems. If you're emotionally dependent on a friend who stabs you in the back, well, you collapse. No one likes to be screwed over and left for nothing, so most Americans just find it easier not to become dependent in the first place.

A problem that I see with the world is that the need for independence often seems to come at the cost of others. Let me explain: Independence entails power. Being dependent is perceived as being submissive. We admire people who don't seem to need others: the successful businessman in a black suit who rides the train everyday and reads the paper instead of talking to the people around him. Independence, and indifference, both signify a special kind of power: the kind of power that makes other people insignificant. I blame this kind of power for all the hate in the world: the kind of power that allows rulers to impose totalitarian rule over their subjects, and allows the majority to imprison the minority, even in - and often ESPECIALLY in - a democracy. And it's this kind of power that causes sick and twisted men in South Africa to kidnap teenage girls and to force them into prostitution. This is just one of the horrible crimes going on in this world.

Morrie points out in his story of the wave that we're all part of the ocean of humanity. I cannot understand how anyone can possibly dehumanize others. We all should be dependent on others. I mean, no man is an island, right? But we fear dependence, and in seeking independence, many people unconsciously or even consciously cast the rest of humanity aside, instead of supporting each other. (By the way, don't confuse independence with freedom. I think everyone should be free but dependent, if that makes sense.) I just don't understand why all this hatred exists. We all come from the same origins. Everyone needs to start caring more, to be willing to need and love others. In the words of the incredible Jason Mraz, "We're just one big family. And it's our God-forsaken right to be loved."

French Culture

I'm going to embark on the French exchange in less than three weeks, and in preparation for the trip, all the American students went to dinner at Le Titi de Paris to learn about French culture. Looking at it from a sociological perspective, I'm going to try to deconstruct some of the lessons we learned.

First off, in French, if you're addressing a superior, you use "vous" instead of "tu." Both words mean "you," but "vous" actually means "you plural." The French respect authority greatly, and if I had to guess, perhaps they use "vous" to convey that the person they're addressing has the importance of many people in one. I was concerned about this, because I've never remembered to call my French teacher, for example, by the "vous" form. It just doesn't make sense to me, which is my ethnocentrism, I guess. So I asked Mr. Weil what would happen if I called a superior by the "tu" form. He said it wouldn't be a big deal. It's more of a folkway than anything, but some people will correct you.

Here's another thing: In America, putting your elbows on the table used to be a no-no, but now it's considered a folkway. However, in France, it's the opposite. It's actually extremely rude to put your hands in your lap. They must always be above the table. I thought about why they might have this particular more, and came up with a hypothesis. The hands do everything, and my best guess is that when your hands are invisible, it's a sign that you're untrustworthy. If your hands are under the table, they have no way of knowing what you're doing.

Mr. Weil also explained that the French students, even those who aren't always on the exchange, always know who the American students are. Not just because we aren't exactly proficient in the language, but also because we look and act differently. The French dress very conservatively. They wear dark and plain colors, never wear sweatpants out of the house, and think that ripped jeans are damaged. They also keep their emotions very controlled. Apparently, they all seem to think Americans are insanely happy because we laugh and smile way more than any of them do. My theories are that the French like to look very put together. They place importance on looking collected. Hence the neat, dark clothes and stoic demeanor.

Finally, the French seem to really value the time they spend with their families. Mr. Weil said that it wouldn't be uncommon to go to dinner at the houses of multiple extended family members. He also told us that dinner would be a five course meal every night, and that conversation would continue for the entire time. I felt pretty guilty about the food we fed Estelle, my exchange student, while she was living with us. We wanted to expose her to American culture, so we got Chicago style pizza. But she's used to long meals of quality, not cheap food that her dad just picks up on the way home from work. From Mr. Weil's descriptions of French dinners, I gathered that they really value each other's opinions. Mr. Weil told us that we should brush up on our current events, because our host families are sure to ask us what we think about things going on in America, not to mention the rest of the world. The French really value knowledge and awareness. They also really value quality.

So, I'm going to France very soon, and hopefully, I'm aware enough of their culture to manage! We'll have to wait and see.